I do not know what you believe. I cannot know. I can only determine judge you by your actions. If you testify to an un-testifiable belief, then you can only lie. If you lie then you have a reason to lie. I can only seek to discover the reason you lie. I cannot distinguish a profession of belief in an un-testifiable lie, from any other lie.
Belief is irrelevant. Either you imitate the works of Jesus or you are just another liar, fraud, and thief.
Keep a diary of the actions you take in the service of others for no other reason than the love of others, and the cost to you for having done so.
If it is not an action, is not in the services of others, is not in the service of others by your personal service to them, at personal cost to you, then you are a liar, fraud, and thief, and your claims of Christianity are no different from wearing the uniform of those who did service when you have not done so, a pretending to equal their honor.
No. You are just a free-rider. A parasite on other’s labors. A free rider on those few Christians who exist, just as a free rider on those few warriors that exist.
A Christian ACTS. Profession of belief, and belief are irrelevant.