WOMEN FOR SUPERGEEKS
Women are easy. Take them shopping. Be nice to their friends, and make her look good in front of them. Listen. Give them permission to feel. Say “yes: to anything that you can easily do so. Say “no I can’t or won’t do that” – not, “no that’s a bad idea” – and don’t ask forgiveness or permission or agreement to say that kind of “no.” That is what it means to be a man and different from a woman. In addition, have male friends and many of them.
I love talking through thoughts and issues and ideas with a woman. And honesty in those things makes them feel safe with you.
In other words, bring them into your emotional world but not your cognitive world. Bringing them into your cognitive world is a form of selfishness. It makes you needy. If you bring them into your emotional, personal, and social, world, you make them successful in bonding with you.
My particular issue is that I can be anchored if I talk about something before I am ready – and being anchored takes away my superpower so to speak. So I can’t talk about some issues until I am ready, and this can create the perception that I am hiding something.
Worse, not everyone can understand what I am thinking, so I try to humor people to save myself effort, frustration, and potential alienation, which can also create the impression that I have ‘plans’.
Worse, I managing one’s creativity is different from managing one’s work. Creativity is a manageable process but time consuming, and cannot, like ordinary task work, be forced. So it is not always clear that I am in fact (as taleb also laments) ‘working’, when in fact I am, under almost all circumstances, ‘working’ and only vaguely ‘present’. Stuff spills out of your fingertips when it’s ready, not when you want it to.
So lots of intimate, in that I mean, ‘us time’ talking is necessary to preserve trust and connection to compensate. And that is what I learned to do.
Women give AMAZINGLY GOOD ADVICE on anything personal, emotional, social, and ‘real’. so much so that at least for me it’s very hard to function without it.